I realize I haven't posted on here in awhile. Believe me, I have lots of material since starting my new job, but it would be highly illegal for me to post it on the world wide web. That being said, I'm writing about my experience getting a pedicure...4 months ago.
This experience took place while I was in training in Abilene. I will not protect the identity of those involved...ok maybe I will because I'm scared of jail...I've actually been in one now...to visit a client...not as a prisoner. So, one day after a long day of training, a fellow training attendee and I decided to go get a pedicure at the Grandiose Mall of Abilene. I have always thought pedicures were so relaxing, until this fateful day...I knew it was going to be trouble when I saw the guy who was going to be my footeuse (masseuse for the feet). The guy had done my nails only weeks before and cut the crap out of my cuticle because he couldn't stop shaking...if this guy has Parkinson's he does not need to be working on hands or feet...I believe he just was on too much nicotine or having withdrawals from something MUCH stronger. Anyway, he starts working on my feet that were soaking in the lukewarm water, but I didn't complain because I didn't want to get cut...WELL I should have complained because he cut me anyway. He nicked my big toe on the left foot...my natural reflex was to kick...I didn't hit him too hard, but I think he got the point. JK!! I didn't kick him physically, but mentally I was working him over. He just pressed his finger to the bleeding cut and went on about his business. Toes looked great when he was done, even a little blood design could stop their awesomeness.
Fast forward three weeks, I was headed back to Abilene for training and before I left my humble abode in Eastland, I decided to cut my toenails. Well, I trimmed my nails and worked over my cuticles, when all of a sudden, my big toe on my left foot started throbbing. I didn't think much about it until I got to Abilene and looked at it...it was swollen and red and I could barely walk. I couldn't put on a shoe and had to go out to dinner with one shoe and one sandal...I got lots of guys numbers that night. I was looking hot to trot. I put neosporin and a band aid on it thanks to another training friend. I had to sleep with it elevated to keep the pain and throbbing away. The next day it was a little better...at least I could walk. I was at a total loss at what was causing my big toe to hurt...then I remembered Sir Shakes-A-Lot and the nick on my toe...the pain was at the exact cut point. I called my lawyer to get ready to sue...ok I just called my mom to whine, but she's almost like a lawyer...sometimes. The pain and redness went away after a few days and when I got home I soaked it in Epsom salt to suck out the impurities...It worked!! or so I thought. I had no pain or redness again and I was a new person....that is until I got a new pedicure...the nice little lady that did my nails, asked, "What happened?!?!?" that was in response to seeing a "bruise" on my nail. "OH I don't know" I did not have the heart to tell her that one of her fellow country men, had screwed up my nail. Again I thought it was good to go until two weekends ago and the bottom of my nail was sticking up...It was coming off...my nail polish came off and my nail look ratched...it was loose and yellow and still bruised looking...I gagged. As I sit here today typing this Public Service Announcement, I have half a toe nail...again I'm fighting the guys off...can't beat a girl with 9 painted toes and a FUNGUS on the 10th!!
Nail Salons are not as clean and sterile as they advertise...I'm never getting another pedicure...that is until my nail grows back..I might just buy my own instruments and take them with me everywhere..."Oh, pretty color...you want fungus to go with it?" "You want design or fungus?" "Design 7 (dollars), fungus free"
