It's so HOT

I know it's been a few days since my last post. It's been a little busy, which I'm sure you are thinking.."busy? it's summer, and she has no life, how can she be busy?!?" While that may be true, everything decided to hit in the few days I've been away. Here is a brief, but wordy description of most of the stuff that has gone down...because you care. 

First of all, the firemen turned out to be duds. Don't get me wrong, they were cute, but not HOT, well they were hot because it was 100 degrees outside, and they were moving heavy furniture and boxes. I did sit and watch them, but I didn't offer them a drink of ice cold water. They brought their own and it was probably colder than what I had to offer considering the fridge wasn't plugged in. One of the movers had a tattoo...a gingerbread man tattoo on the side of his calf. I'm hoping there was some sort of meaning to the tattoo...like he's the muffin man on the side and lives on drury lane or he's Lord Farguaad. 

The next thing that went down was eating. I promise I'm not going to give you a play by play of everyday, but it could be close. So, being as how we were in a small town and it was after 8:00, our eating choices diminished down to 5 from 10. The winning choice was the truck stop, The Star Cafe, which it used to be called the Red Star Cafe, but I guess it was too hard to paint the word Red so it was shortened.

Thank you David C. for letting me use your Yelp picture. 

   

The food is what you would think of as truck stop food, but after a long day of watching other people move your belongings, it works up an appetite. I was so looking forward to my TV dinner chicken strips and cream gravy. It being a truck stop, you'd think it wouldn't take too long to get your food. There is a window that allows you to see into the kitchen and/or allows the "cook" to put the ready orders up so the waitress can grab them. From my seat, I can see the cook placing meals up on the window and the waitress getting them and taking them to their owners. There were less than 20 people in there and we waiting almost an hour for our food. During this time, the "cook" comes up to the window and sneezes and coughs, then places an order in the window. It was two chicken fried steaks with brown gravy. The waitress asked where the cream gravy was and he yelled and said that he didn't have any more and there was no HOT water to make any. So instead of asking for some hot water from the front, you just take it upon yourself to serve BROWN gravy with the steak. I only know one person who would eat it that way and I'm not naming names. The owners of the food accepted the brown gravy begrudgingly. The waitress gave the "cook" some hot water from the coffee maker. So is my gravy going to be coffee flavored?!? The cook was frantically moving around in the kitchen like it was some 3 star restaurant, and he must have been working up a sweat because he kept wiping his face and looking out his tiny window. I think he was working up an escape. The waitress went into the kitchen to help "whip up" the gravy after she was "kindly" asked where the crap our food was. She kept ignoring our table...sheesh. It's not like we were causing a scene. Boy was I ever glad to get that lumpy, cloudy water...I mean gravy, oh and the chicken. So many questions still float around in my head, like those lumps in the gravy. On a positive note, the piece of cake I had was delicious!!!  

This is NOT what our meal looked like. Glad your food came out decent David C.

It's so HOT any indoor activity where I can gain culture and have someone else pay for the A/C...count me in!! I went to the Dallas Museum of Art, which I still have two tickets for the Inca exhibit if anyone wants to go. The four pack was bought because it was the best deal!! Don't ask where the other ticket went. :) I don't think I'm mature enough to be in a museum...there were a lot of naked people in those paintings and sculptures. Every time I saw one, I kindly told it to put on some clothes...I don't think it did any good. I did feel classy being in there though. I went to the Dallas Summer Musical production of Pippin. This was an interesting story...to be honest I had no clue what was going on. However, there was a lot of super cool acrobatics going on the whole time. I was a little sad that it wasn't a story about a single girl from the country, who moves to the big city for work while looking for a husband. I also adventured to the Flight Museum at Love Field...that was cool. I love watching airplanes and I'm in awe of how they work. Granted I hate flying, but when I'm not on there or they are on the ground, they are awesome!! Oh and I went to the George W. Bush Presidential Library. It's a very pretty building. 

Fast forward to today, I was at the first day of a conference at the high school. I ran into my assistant principal from Hillsboro. I said hello and asked if he remembered who I was. He said he did, but I don't think that was true. I had to fill in too many gaps, and he looked at me like I had lost my mind, although he did remember I coached, but couldn't remember WHAT I coached. It was junior high, come on man...I didn't EVERYTHING, including driving the bus for the high school boys track team and junior high boys football team. He remembered some names, but not everyone's. He did remember the crazy health teacher and assistant coach that left middle of the fall semester. Who could forget her?!? She would wear booty shorts and do hand stands at tournaments. She knew nothing about interacting with students, but probably couldn't tell you how to make some drugs. Ok. Ok. I'm judging, but you would too if you'd have met her. Whew! What a trip!! 

If you made it down this far...well you must not have a life either! :)

I don't care...I want more!!

So as most of you know, and those that don't, well now you will...my parents sold their house and bought one and are currently packing getting ready for the big move Tuesday. Apparently they hired some fireman from Fort Worth... If you try to reach me Tuesday...I'm occupied. By occupied, I mean I'm sitting in my lawn chair watching them move...real life Magic Mike eye candy in Carbon...hopefully. My luck it will some middle aged man with a ginormous beer gut. I digress. I've been helping pack up stuff because they are older, and I'm a sucker at helping those in need. Yesterday was the kitchen's turn to get packed... OH.MY.GOODNESS!! I have not seen so much random stuff, since...yesterday. I felt like I was in the Little Mermaid. Remember the scene where Ariel is swimming around looking at her collection of human artifacts...yep that was me, but I wasn't swimming....that would have been weird. I started singing...in my head...I can carry a tune in there...

"Look at this stuff

Isn't it neat?

Wouldn't you think their collection's complete?

Wouldn't you think I'm the girl

Whose parents have everything?

Look at this trove

Treasures untold

How many wonders can one cabinet hold?

Looking around here you think

Sure, they have everything

They've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty

They've got whozits and whatzits galore

You want pie tins and whisks?

I've got twenty!

But who cares?

No big deal

They want more!"

I found a dingle hopper!! Oh, and ignore the albino deer in the background...it's art...allegedly. 

Back in the Saddle

Hi there! It's me, the long lost wannabe blogger. I'm back, well at least for today. I realized it had been almost a year since I had posted anything and I thought to myself, because there isn't anyone around to talk to, you need to post something. I'm going to try and post about 2 times a week...TRY is the key word. If I keep this up, I could become one of those famous bloggers and maybe get my own book deal. 

I noticed that my last post was about the incident at the nail salon...here's an update. The fungus spread to the other half of my toenail. My left toe looks like the nail of an 80 year old man that refuses to admit his thick yellow toenails are a problem. Good news is I went to the doctor and hopefully this 2 year long ordeal will be over in a few months. I bet this is why I'm still single...I can't wear nail polish on any of my toes because the Jublia eats right through it...classy! Who wants a girl with bare toenails, missing half a nail, and a fungus?!?!? 

Toenail Fungus...that EW! is not really on my toe

Keeping in theme with the fungus...last night after I removed my mascara I felt something in my eye. So what did I do?!? I rubbed it...and rubbed it....and rubbed it. Not what you should do, but I'm addicted to eye rubbing. Nothing came out except some tears...no I wasn't crying...there's no crying in having some foreign object wedged under your eyelid. It felt like I had one tiny, annoying grain of sand up in there. I thought that going to bed might help...it helps with everything else I'm trying to get rid of or avoid...like the massive amount of chocolate in my kitchen from Teacher Appreciation Week or the mound of laundry that needs to be done or the headache I've had for 4 weeks while being on the CG Nutrition Challenge. I was wrong going to bed didn't help, I could feel that log moving around...I wish it had been a log because I would have yanked it out. I needed something to flush my eye out...couldn't they use another word besides flush...it's not a toilet. I remembered that I had a spray bottle, so what did I do...you guessed it...I squirted my eye with a spray bottle...I held up my lid and boom...water sprayed all up in there...yeah it didn't work. The only thing that helped was a warm washcloth pressed against my closed eye...I was pressing so hard, I think I pushed my eye back...it's a joke. I woke up at one point with pain again, so I googled how to flush out your eye...I had my solution but it was going to have to wait until the morning. 

I woke up and decided to flush my eye...after I flushed the toilet. The article said that I could use a cup and if I just tilted my head back I could allow the water to run into my eye. This had disaster written all over it, but the challenge was accepted. I sat on the edge of the bathtub, leaned back, held my eye open, and poured the water to my eye. It wasn't that graceful...the water ran all over my face, which then ran to my shirt and shorts. Yep...I was flushed, but my eye wasn't. I got to school...our fabulous school nurse took a look at it, and again it was flushed with some saline, but a professional. I did however have to lay on the "beds" in the nurse's office...in a dress...it was a little odd. The saline did nothing except run over my face and relieve the pain for a few minutes. I managed to go all day without rubbing...maybe my addiction is over. 

I made an appointment at Pinnacle Eye Care After waiting in a burning hot room forever...the doctor came in, made me cry...again not really crying because there is no crying in having a foreign object in your eye...put some yellow dye in my eye...at least I hope it was dye. She got the tiny speck of something...not mascara...out from underneath my eyelid. When she first came in she was asking about medication I was currently taking, I forgot to mention the Jublia, but she had this high tech system that could pull up my prescriptions...I felt like she was invading my privacy, what if I had some prescription that I didn't want her knowing about...like Jublia. I had to explain why there was a steroid and Jublia listed. I told her I was training to be a body builder, and I got a toe fungus. I don't think she believed me. I really was hoping for an eye patch, but all I got was an antibiotic/steroid...body building here I come!!

PSA: Beware of the Nail Salon

I realize I haven't posted on here in awhile. Believe me, I have lots of material since starting my new job, but it would be highly illegal for me to post it on the world wide web. That being said, I'm writing about my experience getting a pedicure...4 months ago. 

This experience took place while I was in training in Abilene. I will not protect the identity of those involved...ok maybe I will because I'm scared of jail...I've actually been in one now...to visit a client...not as a prisoner. So, one day after a long day of training, a fellow training attendee and I decided to go get a pedicure at the Grandiose Mall of Abilene. I have always thought pedicures were so relaxing, until this fateful day...I knew it was going to be trouble when I saw the guy who was going to be my footeuse (masseuse for the feet). The guy had done my nails only weeks before and cut the crap out of my cuticle because he couldn't stop shaking...if this guy has Parkinson's he does not need to be working on hands or feet...I believe he just was on too much nicotine or having withdrawals from something MUCH stronger. Anyway, he starts working on my feet that were soaking in the lukewarm water, but I didn't complain because I didn't want to get cut...WELL I should have complained because he cut me anyway. He nicked my big toe on the left foot...my natural reflex was to kick...I didn't hit him too hard, but I think he got the point. JK!! I didn't kick him physically, but mentally I was working him over. He just pressed his finger to the bleeding cut and went on about his business. Toes looked great when he was done, even a little blood design could stop their awesomeness. 

Fast forward three weeks, I was headed back to Abilene for training and before I left my humble abode in Eastland, I decided to cut my toenails. Well, I trimmed my nails and worked over my cuticles, when all of a sudden, my big toe on my left foot started throbbing. I didn't think much about it until I got to Abilene and looked at it...it was swollen and red and I could barely walk. I couldn't put on a shoe and had to go out to dinner with one shoe and one sandal...I got lots of guys numbers that night. I was looking hot to trot. I put neosporin and a band aid on it thanks to another training friend. I had to sleep with it elevated to keep the pain and throbbing away. The next day it was a little better...at least I could walk. I was at a total loss at what was causing my big toe to hurt...then I remembered Sir Shakes-A-Lot and the nick on my toe...the pain was at the exact cut point. I called my lawyer to get ready to sue...ok I just called my mom to whine, but she's almost like a lawyer...sometimes. The pain and redness went away after a few days and when I got home I soaked it in Epsom salt to suck out the impurities...It worked!! or so I thought. I had no pain or redness again and I was a new person....that is until I got a new pedicure...the nice little lady that did my nails, asked, "What happened?!?!?" that was in response to seeing a "bruise" on my nail. "OH I don't know" I did not have the heart to tell her that one of her fellow country men, had screwed up my nail. Again I thought it was good to go until two weekends ago and the bottom of my nail was sticking up...It was coming off...my nail polish came off and my nail look ratched...it was loose and yellow and still bruised looking...I gagged. As I sit here today typing this Public Service Announcement, I have half a toe nail...again I'm fighting the guys off...can't beat a girl with 9 painted toes and a FUNGUS on the 10th!! 

Nail Salons are not as clean and sterile as they advertise...I'm never getting another pedicure...that is until my nail grows back..I might just buy my own instruments and take them with me everywhere..."Oh, pretty color...you want fungus to go with it?" "You want design or fungus?" "Design 7 (dollars), fungus free"

Driving

When I headed home from Abilene on Thursday, I had my first enlightening experience of the weekend. I was almost to Clyde and this young lady decided to move over in the left hand lane because there was a truck in the right about 2 miles in front of her. Guess she needed plenty of time to get around the truck since she was barely moving. I decided to move over to the right hand lane for two reasons, 1. she was poking along and 2. there was a SUV barreling down on my rear end. About the time I move over, Pokey McPokerson moves over in front of me. I let the SUV go by and then get over to pass Pokey. I get about even with the back right door and Pokey must have realized the truck was now only a mile in front of her so she GUNS it and pulls around in front of me in the left hand lane. As we are passing the truck, she slams on her breaks because there must have been a ghost of an animal that once tried to cross the road because there was nothing or noone in front of her. I almost hit her...with my car. She gets back over in front of the truck and it was like someone pressed replay...maybe God because he was testing my ability to stay calm under the influence of stupidity. As I try to pass her again, Pokey gets back in front of me and presses the breaks again. We were closer to passing another truck this time, so it didn't take her forever to get around and back in the right hand lane. This time I was able to pass Pokey and when I passed her, she was twirling her hair around her pointer finger blocking her face because she was afraid of what I was going to do. I really wanted to flip her my pinky finger, but instead I just gave her the stink eye and she exited and I ran off the road...JK!! 
About 30 minutes later, I'm cruising along and this little sports car starts to pass me. I look over and I almost wrecked because I thought the driver was Kliff Kingsbury. I thought God had given me my wish since I had handled the previous situation with such grace. In between breaths in the brown bag...because I was hyperventilating not taking a swig of booze...I looked over and on the back bumper of his car was a Tech emblem. IT WAS HIM!! So I did what any responsible person would do, let him get ahead of me and then floor it to catch up and pass...in the meantime I freshened my makeup, plucked my eyebrows, and changed clothes...I finally caught up to the car and passed. I looked over ready to flash him...a smile...get your mind out of the gutter...It wasn't him. That is when I realized...I have a Kliff Kingsbury problem. I need help...I wonder if he could help me. 
Friday I drove to Houston and it was dark on the majority of my drive. My eyes like to play tricks on me at night when I'm driving. At one point, I thought I saw the Grim from Harry Potter and almost crapped my pants. I realized it was just a shadow on the road. There are worse things than the Grim. I thought the Dementors were out, which means the Death Eaters weren't too far behind, when I made it to downtown Houston. I rushed to the apartment. 
On my way home from Houston Saturday, I thought I saw Johnny Manziel in College Station driving an incognito Dodge Charger, but then I remembered he was in New York loosing the Heisman to an accused Sex Offender....legal please don't get me for my remarks. As it got darker, more and more people I met had on their bright lights. When did people start leaving the brights on ALL the time, especially when behind another driver and when meeting a driver head on. I was blinded by the light...wrapped up like a deuce...another roller in the night. Glad to be home, but I get to go to Abilene again today!! On the road again...

Open Letter

     I blame this post on not being able to get out of the house for two straight days due to faux snow, which decided to cover the streets and turn to ice. I have seen open letters to Miley Cyrus and Johnny Manziel, so I have taken it upon myself to write one. I realize this letter will never be seen by the subject and probably anyone for that matter, but I'm writing it anyway. I must say everything I put in here should not be used against me in a court of law because this is meant to be used for entertainment purposes. 

     Dear Kliff Kingsbury,

  I'm sure you get this a lot, but I wanted you to know I'm your biggest fan! You don't know who I am, and I could literally be the BIGGEST fan. Rest assured, I'm not, but if this ice won't melt, and I can't get out to exercise, I might end up with that title. I'm your biggest fan not because you are EXTREMELY good looking, but because of your ability to be extremely good looking AND turn around a football program that has been struggling the past few years. I knew who you were when you were the quarterback for Tech, but I lost you when you graduated and turned pro. I heard your named mentioned a time or two when you were at Houston, but I found you again when you surfaced as the quarterback coach at A&M. I'm not really sure how you became so popular at that coaching stop, maybe it was how good you treated Miss Rev. 

  I've heard critics say that you should spend more time coaching than looking in a mirror. Forget them, keep looking in the mirror. If you have misplaced your mirror, you can borrow mine or use my cell phone with the camera facing you like you are taking a selfie...I've heard that works, but I haven't ever done that. You must be doing alright with looking in the mirror and coaching because your team started off the season hot, just like you. Granted y'all hit a bit of a rough patch at the end, but y'all shouldn't be disappointed, your stubble looked great EVERY game, and you rocked that headset. How do you get that stubble so uniform all the time? I'm impressed. I didn't miss a Tech game all season. I yelled and hollered every game...when they showed you on the sidelines. You got tons of air time. I'm glad, because who wants to see Mack Brown run his hand through his hair...NO ONE!! I thought it was great how you treated your players when they would come off the field. I don't ever recall you yelling at them, unless you knew the camera was on you and you wanted to show the ladies your softer side. Whatever the case, it worked. You are a down to earth coach that knows how to reach the players or so it seems. Hopefully you don't lock players inside an electrical closet. Discipline should come in the form of cleaning your car or brushing your hair 100 times, and if they won't I will. Players seem to respect you and your coaching staff. I respect you and your stubble. Instead of helmet stickers, I like to think you hand out puppies. Do you rescue them in your free time?

  I know that you have girls, women, cougars, and maybe even some men throwing themselves at you. Ignore them. They are gold diggers. Kliff I know you are married to the game, but if you ever find yourself wanting more...I'm here for you. I don't mind stubble, perfect hair, and Red Raiders. I love black and red. I can be your "Hey Girl!"

Race Day!

Today was the The Toughest 10k in Kemah, which is part of a bridge race series. Not sure why any beginner 10k runner would choose to run a race with the word TOUGHEST in the name, but I'm not just any beginner 10k runner...I'm special...not ed! I figured I'd been to Kemah a couple of times and had driven over the bridge and it didn't seem too bad, so I signed up! Plus Joy (I've changed her name to protect her...ok I really didn't change her name), caught me at an adventurous time during the summer. You haters out there, I know there are people that run more and are in better shape than me, but I've never been a runner and still wouldn't call myself one, but I'm gonna talk about my adventures because it's not something I've ever done before, so talk to the hand! 

Friday it rained all day and not just rained regular, there were often ginormous downpours, which left the ground nice and saturated....oh wait we were on asphalt...nevermind! Saturday had a 100% chance of rain so I was prepared, especially after running the Susan G. Koman in Waco last year in the rain. I had waterproof shoes, shirt, and leggings...no, no I didn't, but I did bring a towel and flip flops to put on after the race...I left those in my car. When I got to the Kemah Boardwalk, it wasn't raining and I just hoped it would hold off until I got finished or at least close...like a block away. There were tons of people and of course right away I started sizing up my competition, which is NEVER a good idea, but I can't NOT do it! Oh I can beat her, she has an oxygen tank...oh that guy has one leg...yep never good because you'll be in a groove and then all of a sudden an oxygen tank appears in your peripherial vision followed by Mr. One leg. That's when you should push harder, but instead you just ask for a puff of oxygen. 

Joy and I decided to pay a visit to the amazing bathroom facilities in the parking garage...AKA the port-a-potty. They were NOT amazing even though they were arranged in a nice green and pink pattern. It was so dark in there I couldn't see anything, which in a port-a-potty is a good thing, but I at least needed the general vicinity of the hole, so I had to use my phone....this would be better if I said I dropped my phone in the solid and liquid waste hole, but I didn't...I guess you can quit reading now. While we were in line, this lady in front of us asked if we knew where the starting line was and we said no. The lady had on a A&M marathon shirt and Joy asked if she was an Aggie, she was and so I piped up and asked what year...you know that whole exchange took place. Verbal diarrhea set in and I said we were running our first 10k....she went on to tell me that running was awesome and she had been doing it since she was 9 and that I'd get that passion and I'd sign up for a half marathon and then eventually a full marathon. I busted out laughing. She just looked at me and then turned and went to the potty. 

While waiting for the race to get started, I got to thinking, I can do this...6.2 miles ain't no thang!! I got this in the bag...probably the barf bag, but a bag nonetheless. Race started and I'm still feeling good. I had set a good pace...slow but good!! The first part was flat, which was nice and deceiving. It wasn't until I had made the curve to head to up the bridge for the 1st time. This is when I wanted to turn and run....back to my car...it was the feeling I get when I try and ride roller coasters and wait in the line and then panic right as I'm about to get in the seat, so I end up stepping over and waiting for everyone to finish. Yep I'm that person. I had already made a plan to walk up the bridge and then run. It was great the first two times up the bridge and then when my run/walk homies (yep I didn't know them and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be their homey) and I turned to go up the bridge the 3rd time, the rain started. Blowing rain was beating my face as I walked up that bridge...my eye started burning but I had nowhere dry to wipe it and then the worst thing happened...my nose started running. I should have followed it!! When it came time to run, I wanted to sprint because it meant I would be that much closer to the end...approximately 3 miles away. To make matters worse, the first of the runners had started passing us, and some were finishing, and I found myself being totally jealous. These are the short shorts (men and women), no shirt, or just a sports bra runners. Oh I forgot...on the second time up the bridge I'm almost to the top and I hear..."go Waco" it was the Aggie from the potty! I wanted to trip her as she sprinted past and down the hill. I still had two more times over the bridge. The rain somewhat let up, but not a whole lot!! I ran/walked the rest of way down from the bridge. I couldn't feel my legs...I felt like Lt. Dan. Once that finish line was in sight, I picked up the pace...I had stored some in my back pocket in case I got peckish I could have a snack! As I crossed the finish line, God announced my name, whoever it was they didn't let all they male hotties know that I was single and might be needing mouth to mouth! Another missed opportunity!! 

Just keepin' it real!

Pippen