Driving

When I headed home from Abilene on Thursday, I had my first enlightening experience of the weekend. I was almost to Clyde and this young lady decided to move over in the left hand lane because there was a truck in the right about 2 miles in front of her. Guess she needed plenty of time to get around the truck since she was barely moving. I decided to move over to the right hand lane for two reasons, 1. she was poking along and 2. there was a SUV barreling down on my rear end. About the time I move over, Pokey McPokerson moves over in front of me. I let the SUV go by and then get over to pass Pokey. I get about even with the back right door and Pokey must have realized the truck was now only a mile in front of her so she GUNS it and pulls around in front of me in the left hand lane. As we are passing the truck, she slams on her breaks because there must have been a ghost of an animal that once tried to cross the road because there was nothing or noone in front of her. I almost hit her...with my car. She gets back over in front of the truck and it was like someone pressed replay...maybe God because he was testing my ability to stay calm under the influence of stupidity. As I try to pass her again, Pokey gets back in front of me and presses the breaks again. We were closer to passing another truck this time, so it didn't take her forever to get around and back in the right hand lane. This time I was able to pass Pokey and when I passed her, she was twirling her hair around her pointer finger blocking her face because she was afraid of what I was going to do. I really wanted to flip her my pinky finger, but instead I just gave her the stink eye and she exited and I ran off the road...JK!! 
About 30 minutes later, I'm cruising along and this little sports car starts to pass me. I look over and I almost wrecked because I thought the driver was Kliff Kingsbury. I thought God had given me my wish since I had handled the previous situation with such grace. In between breaths in the brown bag...because I was hyperventilating not taking a swig of booze...I looked over and on the back bumper of his car was a Tech emblem. IT WAS HIM!! So I did what any responsible person would do, let him get ahead of me and then floor it to catch up and pass...in the meantime I freshened my makeup, plucked my eyebrows, and changed clothes...I finally caught up to the car and passed. I looked over ready to flash him...a smile...get your mind out of the gutter...It wasn't him. That is when I realized...I have a Kliff Kingsbury problem. I need help...I wonder if he could help me. 
Friday I drove to Houston and it was dark on the majority of my drive. My eyes like to play tricks on me at night when I'm driving. At one point, I thought I saw the Grim from Harry Potter and almost crapped my pants. I realized it was just a shadow on the road. There are worse things than the Grim. I thought the Dementors were out, which means the Death Eaters weren't too far behind, when I made it to downtown Houston. I rushed to the apartment. 
On my way home from Houston Saturday, I thought I saw Johnny Manziel in College Station driving an incognito Dodge Charger, but then I remembered he was in New York loosing the Heisman to an accused Sex Offender....legal please don't get me for my remarks. As it got darker, more and more people I met had on their bright lights. When did people start leaving the brights on ALL the time, especially when behind another driver and when meeting a driver head on. I was blinded by the light...wrapped up like a deuce...another roller in the night. Glad to be home, but I get to go to Abilene again today!! On the road again...